Well listen here Sonny, I'm here for ya. I'll walk ya through this here process, and 'efore ya can whistle Dixie, ya'll be tweetin' with the best of us.
First of all, ya gots to click on this 'ere Twitter Link. I recommend openin' it in a new winda so's you can still follow m' lead.
Aright now, sees where it says "Sign up now"? Click it.
Put yer name in the first thingy, a screen name (like: BobbySue17) in the second thingy, a password in the third thingy, your email in the fourth thingy, and whatever scribblin's they gots in the white box in the the last thingy.
Now click on that there "Create my account" butt'n. Presto! Yer a Twit... Er, Tweep!
Go'on an' say somethin'! I'll wait.
Purty cool huh? Now alls ya gots to do is "follow" me! You can eith'r click on this 'ere link ta me, or smoke me out with their search thingerjob.
No matter whichens ya choose, ya just click on "follow" and yer dun!
I hafta admit, I feel purty privileg'd that'yer considerin' joining Twitter cause of little ol' me. Keep on Twatin'!