Friday, September 18, 2009

A little polyticks for you

This morning I was awoken by my alarm clock powered by electricity generated by the public power monopoly regulated by the U.S. Department of Energy.

I then took a shower in the clean water provided by a municipal water utility.

After that, I turned on the TV to one of the FCC-regulated channels to see what the National Weather Service of the National Oceanographic and Atmospheric Administration determined the weather was going to be like, using satellites designed, built, and launched by the National Aeronautics and Space Administration.

I watched this while eating my breakfast of U.S. Department of Agriculture-inspected food and taking the drugs which have been determined as safe by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.

At the appropriate time, as regulated by the U.S. Congress and kept accurate by the National Institute of Standards and Technology and the U.S. Naval Observatory, I get into my National Highway Traffic Safety Administration-approved automobile and set out to work on the roads build by the local, state, and federal Departments of Transportation, possibly stopping to purchase additional fuel of a quality level
determined by the Environmental Protection Agency, using legal tender issued by the Federal Reserve Bank.

On the way out the door I deposit any mail I have to be sent out via the U.S. Postal Service and drop the kids off at the public school.

After spending another day not being maimed or killed at work thanks to the workplace regulations imposed by the Department of Labor and the Occupational Safety and Health administration, enjoying another two meals which again do not kill me because of the USDA, I drive my NHTSA car back home on the DOT roads, to my house which has not burned down in my absence because of the state and local building codes and Fire Marshal's inspection, and which has not been plundered of all its
valuables thanks to the local police department.

And then I log on to the internet -- which was developed by the Defense Advanced Research Projects Administration -- and post on and Fox News forums about how SOCIALISM in medicine is BAD because the government can't do anything right.

Read this. Had to post it. Brilliant run down by my good friend: anonymous internet commenter!

*This posting does not necessarily reflect the political opinions of Berick Cook (Ok, yes is it does).

**Berick Cook reserves the right to laugh at and/or make fun of hypocrisy in any form. If you were offended by this post, please feel free to express your feelings in the comments (Mainly because Berick Cook wants his blog to have comments)

***Berick Cook would like to know why he is talking in 3rd person. (Please help Berick Cook!)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

So yer new to this whole "Twitter" thingy eh?

Well listen here Sonny, I'm here for ya. I'll walk ya through this here process, and 'efore ya can whistle Dixie, ya'll be tweetin' with the best of us.

First of all, ya gots to click on this 'ere Twitter Link. I recommend openin' it in a new winda so's you can still follow m' lead.

Aright now, sees where it says "Sign up now"? Click it.

Put yer name in the first thingy, a screen name (like: BobbySue17) in the second thingy, a password in the third thingy, your email in the fourth thingy, and whatever scribblin's they gots in the white box in the the last thingy.

Now click on that there "Create my account" butt'n. Presto! Yer a Twit... Er, Tweep!

Go'on an' say somethin'! I'll wait.

Purty cool huh? Now alls ya gots to do is "follow" me! You can eith'r click on this 'ere link ta me, or smoke me out with their search thingerjob.

No matter whichens ya choose, ya just click on "follow" and yer dun!

I hafta admit, I feel purty privileg'd that'yer considerin' joining Twitter cause of little ol' me. Keep on Twatin'!

The Broken Slogan Archive

It is with great pride in how awesome I am at making a Twitter game that is known and loved around the world, and with great admiration of my cleverness in naming it Broken Slogan, that I humbly present: The Broken Slogan Archive. If you are as big of a Broken Slogan fan as I am, bookmark this page, as I will update it with every new Broken Slogan!

(SPOILER ALERT: Highlight an answer to view it)

#1 - "Once you pop..." Answer: Once you pop, you just can't stop!
Winner: @haleeg

#2 - "Beef. It's..." Answer: Beef. It's what's for Dinner.
Winner: @haleeg

#3 - "I love the fishes cause..." Answer: I love the fishes cause they're so delicious!
Winner: @haleeg

#4 - "Have it..." Answer: Have it your way!
Winner: @haleeg

#5 - "Break me off..." Answer: Break me off a piece of that Kit Kat Bar!
Winner: @crows

#6 - "Eating good..." Answer: Eating good in the neighborhood.
Winner: @haleeg

#7 - "Think outside..." Answer: Think outside the bun!
Winner: @haleeg

#8 - "___! It's beer..." Answer: Redstripe! It's beer! Hooray beer!
Winner: @haleeg

#9 - "When you're here..." Answer: When you're here, you're family.
Winner: @haleeg

#10 - "___, Mmm..." Answer: Campbells, Mmm Mmm Good.
Winner: @crows

#11 - "I gotta have..." Answer: I gotta have my Pops!
Winner: @haleeg

#12 - "___ gives..." Answer: Redbull gives you wings!
Winner: @haleeg

#13 - "Bada ba ba ba..." Answer: Bada ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it.
Winner: @crows

#14 - "Silly rabbit..." Answer: Silly rabbit! Tricks are for kids!
Winner: @crows

#15 - "Make 7..." Answer: Make 7-Up yours!
Winner: @haleeg

#16 - "They're after..." Answer: They're after me Lucky Charms!
Winner: @MisShellyQuade

#17 - "Maybe she's born..." Answer: Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's Maybelline.
Winner: @haleeg

#18 - "Choosy moms..." Answer: Choosy moms choose Jiff!
Winner: @haleeg

#19 - "Wimpy wimpy..." Answer: Wimpy wimpy, Hefty Hefty!
Winner: @haleeg

#20 - "Dogs don't..." Answer: Dogs don't know it's not bacon!
Winner: @haleeg

#21 - "I can't believe..." Answer: I can't believe it's not butter!
Winner: @haleeg

#22 - "___, the San Francisco..." Answer: Rice-a-Roni, the San Francisco treat!
Winner: @crows

#23 - "There's no wrong way..." Answer: There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's!
Winner: @haleeg

#24 - "I'm thinking..." Answer: I'm thinking Arby's!
Winner: @crows

#25 - "Snap into..." Answer: Snap into a Slim Jim!
Winner: @haleeg

#26 - "Snap..." Answer: Snap, Crackle, Pop!
Winner: @crows

#27 - "Nausea, Hearburn..." Answer: Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion, Upset Stomach, Diarrhea.
Winner: @crows

#28 - "Betcha can't..." Answer: Betcha can't eat just one!
Winner: @crows

#29 - "A diamond..." Answer: A diamond is forever.
Winner: @haleeg

#30 - "___, Australian for..." Answer: Foster's, Australian for beer.
Winner: @haleeg

#31 - "Don't be..." No winner yet!

#32 - "Like a..." Answer: Like a rock!

#33 - "You can roll a ___ to..." Answer: You can roll a Rolo to your friend!

#34 - "Melts in..." Answer: Melts in your mouth, not in your hand!

#35 - "Every kiss..." Answer: Every kiss begins with Kay.

#36 - "Where a kid..." Answer: Where a kid can be a kid!

#37 - "All day strong..." No winner yet!

#38 - "Come hungry..." No winner yet!


1st: @haleeg - 22 wins
2nd: @crows - 10 wins
3rd: @MisShellyQuade - 1 win
Also 3rd: @jodotha - 1 win
One more 3rd: @ShardAngel - 1 win

Congratulations to the winners! Keep it up!

Can YOU beat them? Oh yeah? Prove it! LEARN THE RULES, PLAY THE GAME!