Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Dreaming of dreaming

I love dreams. They're like my own personal nightly theater where I never know what's playing, but I'm the star of the show. Is it film noir night, or Michael Bay 'Splode? Will I get the girl in the end, or will she turn out to be my long lost cousin from space? The adventures the imagination creates can rival even the best that fiction has to offer. Which is one of the reasons I wish we had dream recorders. On the other hand, there are times when I'm glad that dreams can't be recorded (That Jello monster seduced me, I swear).

Recently though, my dreams have taken an interesting turn.

I've always been fascinated by the concept of lucid dreams. Having full control over your dream state changes the theater into an arcade. So for years now, I have been striving to achieve that state. I'm thrilled to say: I've done it!

WARNING! ACHTUNG! - I will now present a glimpse into the workings of my subconscious:

The dream started out as normal as any. I was at a ski resort shredding powder uphill on my snowboard that split into skis on command. When I got to the top, I hopped on the rocket chairs that shot me back down to the bottom, provided I was able to dodge the lasers on the way down (Everybody's had that dream...right?). Well THAT'S when it got interesting.

I was having trouble getting my skis to recombine into a snowboard, and a ski patrol guy was trying to help me. It turns out I had 2 left skis. That's when I had an apostrophe: "This is stupid! I wouldn't have 2 left skis unless it was a... dream!" At which point I said "Thanks, ski patrol guy, but I can fly!" And *Whoosh* off I went!

See, in everything I read about lucid dreaming, the most successful method of attaining it involved creating a "trigger" for yourself. Something that, if performed, would prove to your conscious subconscious (huh?) that you were dreaming. It was always my plan that if I ever thought I was dreaming, the first thing I would do is try to take off like Superman. I figured that's as good a thing to do as any, and, sure enough, it worked. So if we are ever hanging out, and I suddenly leap into the air saying "Up! Up! And Away!" you know why.

Anyhoo, there was a problem. As soon as I took off, filled with excitement at the possibilities, the world around me started to "De-Rez" like something between Tron and The Matrix. Awesome looking, but that meant I was waking up. So I toned it down to try and stay asleep. It worked, and suddenly I found myself in a fancy hotel lobby surrounded by beautiful women. *Ahem*

Too shortly thereafter, my alarm clock went off. I have never hated an alarm clock more in my life.

Since then, I have had a couple more lucid dreams where I was able to directly manipulate the world on a whim, and it was SO MUCH FUN. So if you've never experienced a lucid dream, I highly recommend doing some research and trying it for yourself. Your nights will never be the same.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a nap to take...

*Snore* "Hello, ladies..."

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